You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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