8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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