chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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