Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I got inside last night via doggy door
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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