My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
