you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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