you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
