4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
