i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
This is my gift to your gina
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My life is pants optional.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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