Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
