Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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