Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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