if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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