Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I supernannyed him into submission
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
