i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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