what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
