He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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