dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
