Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
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