He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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