you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
