Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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