I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
