I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Dignity is for republicans.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
