I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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