I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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