"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
