just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
