Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
