I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
