bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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