it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Four minutes until I can fart!
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
