I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
