On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
