you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
either way he was missing a nipple.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
