Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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