My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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