I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
