He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
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She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
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The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...