She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
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there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
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i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.