Duck Duck Cougar?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.