You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
