I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
