Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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