Cold hands, warm shart.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
