I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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