Swine flu. Run for my life!
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize