i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
