Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
