You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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