I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
