my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
We're not piercing ourselves today.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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