dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die, sorry about rent.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He did a backflip because drugs
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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