I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Houston, we have a squirter
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
