And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
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