Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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