i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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