apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Randomize
