I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
