just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
