addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Randomize
