Do you still have your period?
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
