I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
