I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
