I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
