i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
