Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
