Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
is it fun? or sober?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
